call-me-captainemily

potato chips when i'm bad and chocolate when i'm sad. emily. 17. pot enthusiast.

  • me: [gently touches the sleeping cat]
  • cat: [makes a tiny cat noise]
  • me: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooooooooooooo ohh noo ohhhhh nooooooo oh no oh nooooo oh my god oh noooo
  • operator: 911, please hold.
  • me: stop murdering me for a sec; we're on hold.
  • murderer: ok